| Zombies |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|10:28 pm] |
No other mythical animal encapsulates the modern dilemma so well. We are hungry for life, we stumble onward unaware of how it has disappeared. Shopping malls, large cities, British pubs, and even the internet are shown for their ability to dehumanize us, to make us machines that follow patterns. When the world within the horror movie is overrun, as it always is, arms reaching in through broken windows, we recognize that feeling. Here in the destructive, hungry swarm of the undead is that long day where everything goes wrong. It’s easy to be overwhelmed.
As Americans, zombies are mostly our monsters. Whereas Dracula roosts in a dreary Transylvanian castle and the mummy repines under the Egyptian pyramids, the zombie has made multitudes of his appearances in the towns and cities of the good, old US of A. Even in Fulci’s famous Zombi, the film with the famous shark vs. zombie scene, where most of the action occurs on a tropical island, the story ties up in a New York morgue.
Night of the Living Dead and it successors often deal with the shameful parts of American society. Racism, the growing divisions in class, and rampant consumerism are reflected back in the mirror darkly. What does not matter to us in little increments becomes as horrifying as the living dead when people make choices in moments of extremis. When the ghettos are closed off as a lost cause in Day of the Dead, it presages a future in which New Orleans sat and wondered when help would come.
While the term “zombie” may have originated with the Haitian voodoo zombie, we have commandeered / appropriated it to our purposes. And a Haitian voodoo zombie is nothing more than a flesh golem, something to be commanded. The American zombie has no such controls and rituals are useless. Our zombies have forgotten their witchy past and refuse to join up with any religion (though many religions reference them as a sign of the end times.) Often, zombies in churchyards are applied as proof of what prayers are not answered and what peace cannot be found even on sanctified ground.
Every zombie movie has a touch of existential philosophy written in to it. Always the protagonists are aware of how quickly they can be deprived of life. They are fully cognizant of how little sense their own plans can make in a world where entropy is such an overwhelming force. And as time progresses, many characters cannot deal with the bleakness of a life under siege. Without the comfort of routine, faced only with raw humanity and mortality, many zombie-movie civilians go mad and kill themselves or others to grasp at control. As Sartre said, “Hell is other people.” He left off the end of the sentence, “who will dismember you and eat you alive.”
And these days, zombies feel like the light-hearted apocalypse of choice. We have so many reasonable ways the world could end: global warming, pandemic, overpopulation, pollution, and, as ever, war. It’s a long list, with many subtopics. For example, if I want to be really scared, I can spend hours reading through cdc.gov’s travel advisories. These threats are ever present, constantly in the news, and no longer the realm of theologists and poets. William Blake’s “Fire and Ice” would be a much longer poem these days; it omits so much, even what we grew up with.
When I was a child, we were ready for nuclear destruction even in the wheat fields of North Dakota. I learned duck-and-cover at Pioneer Elementary School, read A Canticle for Liebowitz from my mother’s bookshelf, and understood that our grasp on existence was transient from the start. Someone could accidentally destroy us all by pressing a button. Now the fears we face are more nebulous; today we are on orange alert. Why we are at these heightened levels of threat and what impetus brings zombies down on us are equally unknown.
And the irrationality of it all is what brings me back again and again to the zombie genre. In it, I find what causes me fear: the unexpected, illogical, inexplicable end of what I know. In my dreams I try to seal off the house, I fight through hordes, but there is an obfuscation of logic that proves my efforts will be for naught. But the fact that the zombie is a creature unto which one can never surrender gives me hope. To quit fighting is to be inhuman, to be inhuman is to lose life, personality, and joy. |
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| 1 |
[Jul. 20th, 2007|05:05 pm] |
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One is the loneliest number. |
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| 2 |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|11:08 am] |
2night, almost everyone arrives.
I have to write up my mid-term and e-mail it as I'm doubting my ability to do it Friday or Saturday. Heck, I'm doubting my ability to get it done today. I've decided to stay in my skurvy pajamas till I finish. This should keep people from prying me out of the house. Failing that, my next course of action is nudity.
My mother has been telling everyone stories of my childhood. All of them seem to end with me biting someone. |
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| 3 |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|11:03 am] |
A small guide to local cuisine in Bismarck, ND
Our Breakfast Joints: Kroll's Diner
Our nifty sandwich shop: Smoothy Operator- Bismarck Mainstreet, about two blocks past Rock n' Roll McDonald's.
Our quality cheesecake: Mr. Delicious Cheesecake
Our theme restaurant: Space Aliens, barbecue with day glo aliens
Our coffee houses: Cappuccino On Collins- Mandan, Bone Shaker- Bismarck (near Space Aliens), Cafe Aroma- Bismarck (3rd & Broadway).
Our bars: The Broken Oar-Mandan, Merriweathers-River Road, The Pier-South Port.
As of right now, the atmosphere is great at The Walrus, Jorgy's Sports Bar, Peacock Alley and East 40. We have got some excellent local musicians playing in these estabs. Ben Suchy and his Suitcase blues, Gypsyfoot, Public Market, etc.
Fancy pants restaurant: the Bistro
Some dirty joints that will either amuse or offend: The Corral (E. Main St. Bis), The Colonial (the strip- Mandan), Our Place Tavern (13th & Front [live music on weekends]), Old Town Tavern (off Main & 1st Ave NW-Mandan [has a shuffle board]) and The Hide-Away (1000 Boundry Rd-Mandan [has a horse shoe pit]). |
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| 4 |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|01:25 am] |
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Safe in Bismarck, with a license to wed. |
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| 5 |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|09:16 am] |
It's a long drive.
We awake in Bozeman this morning in my sister's bed. The house is empty. There is Bacon in the fridge and another 8-9 hours of driving ahead of us.
Kino has been doing very well on this trip. She takes a quick run around when we stop for gas, sips on a chilled water, and retires to her palanquin while Justin and I try to entertain whichever one of us is driving. |
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| 6 |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|10:39 pm] |
Because it's past midnight in Bismarck now.
I have been packing like a chicken with its head cut off. I've packed 3 different conditioners, for extenuating circumstances. I've packed 5 pairs of shoes. And so on.
Like a boy scout, I'm prepared.
At 6 am, Justin and I will set off for I-90 eastbound. Hopefully, we arrive at my sister's house while it's still light out. |
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| 7 |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|06:21 pm] |
A comparative look at wedding registries...
Herbergers.com
Pros
Connected to local department store in Bismarck
Has online access
Has purchaser information(who bought what for thank you notes)
Extreme customer service
Cons
Limited inventory that can be added online
Amazon.com
Pros
Huge inventory
Has online access
Has purchaser information
Cons
Customer service is a bit convoluted
(When I e-mailed to find out about a gift that had been purchased in May and hadn't arrived yet, I received a form letter from Soujanya telling me to change my "show me" settings to purchased. At that point I called in and spoke to a nice girl who let me know the item might arrive in October. After that, I received an e-mail from Shenbaga who apologized and said they had upgraded my shipping, so when they have the inventory in again, it will be sent quickly.)
Target.com
Pros
Connected to a local store in Bismarck
Has online access
Good for those basic things, like vibrating toothbrush heads.
Cons
Does not have the gourmet cooking tools Justin so craves
Does not have purchaser information
(when we received a spotlifter vacuum, I had to call in to find out who sent it, on the other hand, nice customer service.)
All in all, I wish there were something better out there. The Amazon registry is closest to being ideal, but registries and wishlists should give out the shipping information to the person receiving the gift as well as the person sending it. I have to write myself a reminder note to call back in October if I still don't have those cute measuring cups.
In other news:
Yesterday, someone tried to break into our apartment again, but a little kid on a bike and our next door neighbor spotted him. He fled. We are getting a new door and new locks. He had torn off the molding and smashed the doorknob almost off with a crowbar. I think it's the same guy, because it was also a Friday afternoon last time he struck. |
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| 8 |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|06:34 am] |
I forget what 8 was for.
Tonight, happy hour with Mary and Nat and maybe Harry Potter to follow that. |
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| 9 |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|07:29 pm] |
9 for my lost dog.
The church let my dad know today, and he let my mother know, and she, in turn, told me that Kino is not allowed to be our ring bearer. Justin's been in a funk since I told him. He's going to see is he can change the minds above those stiff collars with a security deposit. Bismarck rarely changes its ways without a few decades.
Tonight, we finished off the sangria on the patio. Supposedly, we're having a heat wave. |
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| 10 |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|10:58 am] |
Ten days till I’m Mrs. Hanlon.
Things to Do before I’m Married
Print out photos to put in the England wedding announcements and mail them puppies
Write more “Thank you” notes (Hi. I love you! Thank you, darling.)
Change car oil and replace windshield wipers (I think I can do that today?)
Wash dog (She can’t be a ring bearer unless she cleans up her act.)
Call florist (Ask them to bring extra daisies.)
Have dress steamed (Make sure dress still fits.)
Wrap or buy gift bags to pretty up bridesmaid gifts (Must cover things with ribbon!)
Call photographer (I feel queasy when I think about how much wedding photos cost.)
Do next summer school assignment (Does anybody want to hear what I think about Jane Eyre? No?)
Get some library books, and audio books for the trip
Add stuff to wedding registry (If people can’t find something to buy on your registry, you receive silver tea trays. I was warned.)
Some of these things I could be doing right now, but the heat outside has me cowering in fear under the air-conditioner. It was 102 yesterday, so I went to a matinee of 1408. Mebbe tomorrow.
In other news, I was flipping through a book titled “Bad Brides” or something like that. It showed a bride in a wedding gown like mine throwing her bouquet. Her breasts had escaped. Very scary.
I’m thinking I’ll duct tape myself in. |
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| Because I actually filled one out. |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|10:57 am] |
1. who were you named after?
| Everyone in Ireland and every word out of their mouths.
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| | 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? | After I studied all night, took some tests, saw the movie Daywatch, and fought with Justin in the car. It wasn't even a real argument, I'd just had too much stimuli.
| | 3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING | It looks like my grandmother's if she were tipsy. Love it.
| | 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? | Black forest ham with melted gruyere and toasted bread.
| | 5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? | no.
| | 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? | yes, certainly.
| | 7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT? | fair to middling
| | 8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS | Yes and my appendix.
| | 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? | perhaps
| | 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? | ginger snap granola, but I usually end up eating grapenuts.
| | 11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? | no.
| | 12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? | No, but I have a high tolerance for pain.
| | 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? | Sesame seed ice cream, but I haven't had any since Japan.
| | 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? | Their eyes and the way they walk.
| | 15. RED OR PINK? | Red.
| | 16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? | My tendency to hoard things I like. I need to have a garage sale soon.
| | 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST | Josh Cates
| | 18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? | Sure | | 19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? | blue jeans and bare feet
| | 20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? | Dinner yesterday was a small chair and a molasses cookie from starbucks. I've been kind of logey with allergies lately, and start my day around noon.
| | 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? | Sea Wolf's "You're a Wolf" is stuck in my head.
| | 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? | Royal blue or turquoise.
| | 23. FAVORITE SMELLS? | honey, chocolate, sugary things.
| | 24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? | my mother, about the wedding.
| | 25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? | yep, yep!
| | 26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? | Sumo
| | 27. HAIR COLOR? | light brown | | 28. EYE COLOR? | green/brown
| | 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? | sometimes | | 30. FAVORITE FOOD? | cheese, chizu, and queso
| | 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? | Scary Movies
| | 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? | Ratatouille. It was really scary.
| | 33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? | blue and green.
| | 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? | Summer
| | 35. HUGS OR KISSES? | kisses | | 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? | almost anything by Pix.
| | 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? | to cpr.
| | 38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND | to book recommendations from people I don't know.
| | 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? | Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, Master Butcher's Singing Club by Louise Erdrich, and Phonogram: Rue Brittania by Kieron Gillen.
| | 40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? | Don't have a mouse.
| | 41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? | Justin and I are currently working through the Freaks and Geeks and Bleach series.
| | 42. FAVORITE SOUND? |
Kino singing about going on a walk.
| | 43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? | Beatles | | 44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? | Japan. I think it will be hard to find somewhere further away.
| | 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? | I can imitate the cry of a dying rabbit.
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| book review for a small town paper, July |
[Jun. 30th, 2007|04:59 pm] |
I have read some lovely books this month, and some terrible books I have read, too. It’s a balance thing. I read a book that brings out all the magic and depth of humanity and then I feel a perverse urge to pick something that screams vapid and titillating. Who would I be if I read only things that were good for me?
It’s also summer, the time of year that calls out for the pool-side read, the little something to conscientiously ignore while lying out in the sun. It does not matter if this book falls in the water or is streaked with sunscreen, because you never really liked it anyway. I picked up Dedication because I enjoyed McLaughlin’s last book The Nanny Diaries. In that book, the main character’s quarter-life crisis felt familiar and true, the antagonist’s insecurities and cruelties fed each other in a believable way. It was a simple tune, but still worth giving a listen. Dedication played a much flatter note. The main character’s “problem” is a failed high school romance. At thirty she returns home to confront the old flame, who is now a world-famous rock star. He throws rocks at her window. To give away any more would be to give spoilers, but if you’ve ever seen a movie, watched a tv show, or read some fan fiction you know what’s going to happen next. This book is gratuitous, fatuous wish fulfillment on the same level of the kid’s book series My Secret Unicorn. Stay away from it, unless you’re in to that kind of thing.
I next read some books that had not only been recommended to me, but lent to me by a friend. Yay! Over the course of a three-day reading binge, I devoured Night Watch, Day Watch, and Twilight Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko. Sometimes, I would pause and come up for air to discuss the book with my friend. “No, I too love the main character’s digressions, his constant ponderings of how the dominoes of fate are flicked by the fingers of intentions.” Then I would dive back into this detailed and gritty picture of modern Moscow caught in a magical balancing act between good and evil. If I never visit Russia, its landscape has been imprinted on my memory, as surely as if I had drunk Baikal soda pop while leaning in the doorway of my massive apartment complex and looking at the litter in the tiny communal yard. I recommend this absorbing, modern fantasy to anyone who is worried about the void that will be left in their lives when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out on July 21st.
Less engrossing was Boomsday. I couldn’t get into the author’s grudge against the baby boomer generation. His depictions of them driving gas-guzzling hummers, blowing their children’s college funds, and, in general, hogging all the available resources did not ring true with me. The author’s previous book, Thank You for Smoking, was a very sharp book in comparison to the fluffy movie they made of it. Maybe I enjoyed that one more, because I was able to really dislike the villain, instead of finding myself defending my parents in my mind. I put it on my “meh” list.
Chuck Palahniuk is always on my “waiting for it” list, and his new title Rant came out in June. This new book is that oxymoron “typical Palahniuk,” containing time travelers and a rabies plague. It has body fluids to rival Haunted and a nihilistic sub-culture to echo Fight Club. Beyond toying with science fiction for the first time, Chuck Palahniuk also uses this book to try his hand at writing in the style of an oral history. Oral histories are rather like documentaries, in the best ones the author disappears and only the interviewees remain. Palahniuk is always visible on the edges, constructing awkward dialogues and leaving snippets of facts. At times, it is a clumsy and awkward text. It’s not his worst book, but I wouldn’t place it up there with Survivor and Invisible Monsters.
World War Z by Max Brooks is a much less ham-fisted approach to the fictionalized oral history. Each story follows the other like pieces of wood dove-tailing together to make a well constructed tale of a zombie plague that spreads across the earth. Max Brooks has spent a lot of time considering zombies and has previously published The Zombie Survival Guide. If you love zombie movies, but feel they lack the scope to fully explain man’s character as he faces dread and possible oblivion, this book is for you. If you’d like to see how countries such as Israel, Russia, China, and Japan respond to such a menace, this book is for you. If you’d like to see what weapons and tactics would eventually be employed in fighting back the undead hordes, this book is for you. Heck, if you like zombie movies at all, this book is for you.
And as a sidenote, Tank Girl has returned! I’ve just picked up issue one at the comic book store and it’s as wonderfully juvenile as it ever was. |
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| Is your body made of a series of bars, a ray of light, a jewel encrusted heart? |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|09:15 am] |
Tonight, I'm going to see Bodyworlds. I've been meaning to see this show from the time I read about it in Mary Roach's book Stiff. I'm awed by the idea of seeing what's there in person, not via photos, nor diagrams, nor plastic models that can be disassembled like a jigsaw.
One of those most amazing childhood memories was watching g'pa stitch up a woman's arm after she "fell" on a knife in New Town, ND. The way the fat cells in her arms glistened under the light was more potent than the flaccid sheep eyeball and the gray chunk of lung displayed in our elementary school class rooms during science. It was proof that what was inside us was chaotic and wet, held in place by the pressure of our skin.
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| Is it a good thing, is it a bad thing... |
[Jun. 6th, 2007|07:12 pm] |
The school year is ending in Portland. When I go in for a substitute job, I find myself glad to offset those summer months of near leisure and poverty with a little delayed pay. I also find myself glad that I will not have to let anyone go to the bathroom for several months. It's too much responsibility.
This semester in review:
Cases of student pink-eye: 2
(Also, did you know that people can catch herpes on their eyes?)
Referrals written: 1
Time-outs given: They were legion
Average length of note left for teacher when I started in January: 2 pages
Average note length now: 4 sentences, perhaps with an accompanying table
Students sent out of class for fighting: 6, 4 of these being boy-girl pairings
Students I saw cry: 3
Total days taught as of today: 49 and a half
Students always take the time to ask where their regular teacher is.
Students often tell you that you are a mean/nice teacher at some point in the day.
One student asked, "Why would you want to work with people like us?"
One students said, "You look like a lawyer," when I was subbing at a nearby elementary school.
Students I've seen outside of class while walking the dog, or buying groceries: 2
(students look a lot larger outside of school, so it's hard to recognize them.)
This summer will be spent in a whirl of distance learning classes and standardized testing, to reach the next level of certification, to assure myself that I won't be subbing forever. |
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| diethylene glycol, a sweet, syrupy poison |
[Jun. 2nd, 2007|05:26 pm] |
I don't have time to do a book review, but here are four books listed from terrible to awesome.
McLaughlin's Dedication
Buckley's Boomsday
Palahniuk's Rant
Lukyanenko's Night Watch and Day Watch |
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| book review for a small town paper |
[Apr. 30th, 2007|04:07 pm] |
T. S. Eliot’s cruelest month, April, was national poetry month, so let’s take a moment to observe it. We shan’t be using it to fix the recurring leak in the kitchen faucet, though Richard Brautigan does have a poem were he suggests replacing the plumbing with poetry. Nor shall we be warming ourselves through the night with it, even if Edna St. Vincent Millay would light both ends of her candle for us. So, what about this April brought poetry so often to my mind?
In early April, I was trawling through my poetry books for readings that would work at weddings. As direct as I’ve always been, I went to the library and checked out Words for the Wedding. E. E. Cummings was in there, but not my favorite, “Since feeling is first.” And there were quite a few standards, but, in the R’s was a new poem by Matthew Rohrer:
Credo
I believe there is something else
entirely going on but no single
person can ever know it,
so we fall in love.
It could also be true that what we use
everyday to open cans was something
much nobler, that we’ll never recognize.
I believe the woman sleeping beside me
doesn’t care about what’s going on
outside, and her body is warm
with trust
which is a great beginning.
(p. 86, Satellite)
It was a lovely surprise. I enjoyed his first book, A Hummock in the Malookas, especially the poem “The Painted Couple,” for it’s surreal, labyrinthine quality, the way it takes you on twisty path to a place outside yourself. So, I was pleased to see he had two more books out, The Green Light and Satellite. I thought “Credo” was quite sweet and apt, but my fiancé’s more tempted by a poem where a man requests his wife to crucify him on the askew life he’s made. We’ll figure something out.
Mid-April, I visited Bismarck. When I called my fiancé to tell him I made it in safely, he told me that Kurt Vonnegut had passed away. When I was in high school I used to spend evenings at the public library, finishing off a book of his before going home. I attribute his books with my sunny disposition, or at least my sense of humor, through those teen years. For my return to Portland, I gathered up about five of my favorites from my mother’s home library: The Sirens of Titan, Cat’s Cradle, Mother Night, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, and, of course, Slaughterhouse-Five. Rereading The Sirens of Titan offers up this bit of hope shaped like a poem:
Willy found some Universal Will to Become,
Mixed it with his bubble gum.
Cosmic piddling seldom pays:
Poor Willy’s six new Milky Ways.
(p. 138, The Sirens of Titan)
Driving through the Alberta Arts district back in Portland, I see someone has spray painted, “Kilgore Trout 11/11/1922-04/11/2007, ” on the side of a warehouse. So it goes.
In late April, 27 students and 5 faculty of Virginia Tech were massacred by an unhinged, armed peer. It was horrible and shocking, and, there on the news stood Nikki Giovanni, saying that she had tried to have the Heung-Sui Cho removed from her poetry class for disturbing the other students. Nikki Giovanni is a lovely poet, whose books Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day and Love Poems have a permanent place on my bookshelf. To see her there was disorienting, perhaps the way it would be to see Oscar Wilde suddenly appear on animal planet among the lions and gazelles. Then again, she has always been connected to her time, and her poem for Joe Strickland, “The Women Gather” seems particularly apt with our reactions to the violent deaths of the young. Later, after reading her convocation address on the web, it seemed as if she was where she was needed. Poetry is the ability to stand amidst the wreckage and say “we will prevail,” and mean it.
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| One more day |
[Apr. 17th, 2007|09:42 am] |
I'm in Bismarck, with less than 24 hours remaining. Tonight I meet with the lady who decorates the country club, I print out my invitation address labels, and I need to order some M & M's online. I am otherwise done with wedding planning for the time being.
Checked off items
Invitations, ready to be assembled
Flowers, ordered from Roberts Floral(50 deposit), G'ma will make the altarpiece
Cake, ordered from Karen Karls(30 deposit)
Organist, discussed music with Brian(no deposit required)
Lady Jay's catering, chose out menu (1000 deposit)
Rehearsal dinner location found
Photographer, pursued by mom
Wedding license, 65 dollars in cash, can be bought the day before the wedding with both present with valid photo identification. |
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